A Funny Thing Happened at the Theater

"Goggles Pizzano" (gogglespizzano)
12/29/2015 at 13:40 • Filed to: Gonzo, The Hateful Eight, Double Wide

No spoilers (Nothing said that hasn’t been said by Quentin Tarantino in pre-release interviews).

Anyone with even the most tentative plans to see Quentin Tarantino’s new film The Hateful Eight in a theater should consider when they watch it. Until New Year’s Eve. it’s playing in 98 theaters and being shown in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . A complete and shockingly short list of every film ever made in this 2.76:1 format are below:

Raintree County (1957)
Ben-Hur (1959)
How the West Was Won (1962) – selected scenes only
Mutiny on the Bounty (1962)
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963)
The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964)
The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)
The Hallelujah Trail (1965)
Battle of the Bulge (1965)
Khartoum (1966)

Unique to this release is a 3 min 11 sec Overture, a 12 min intermission, and roughly 6 min of footage spread throughout the film. You will also receive a free program.

Excited to learn it was playing in my city, and in spite of a little voice telling me there may be teething problems (the reels weigh 350lbs and many projectionists are newly trained), I purchased tickets for the opening day matinee a week before showtime. Some changes in a friend’s plans left me with an extra. Showing up an hour and a half early for the sold out show was little help in getting to the front of the line. Ended up about 30 people back, but good enough.

About halfway through the wait a young man walked up the line asking people something I couldn’t fully make out. He walked past and asked a person after me something about, “dollars, 2pm, and today”. I brought the extra ticket with hopes of getting a second program, but everyone loves dollars. I said, “Pardon”. “One hundred dollars for a 2pm ticket”.

I didn’t dicker. I didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t even count it. I’m not sure he knew it was playing the next day.

We were shuffled inside and were given our programs. Nice. Found many free seats 2/3 of the way back. Also nice. Lights go down, projector fires up, and the curtains aren’t open far enough...Rumblings from the crowd could be heard. Just in time for the overture they fully retract to reveal a two-color still in the style of a ‘70s western credit backdrop. Happy crowd. The Overture written by legendary !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! was great.

Awestruck is the only way I can describe my condition through the opening scene. A closeup of a weathered wooden Jesus on a stone cross pans out to reveal a beautiful Colorado winter landscape. Truly epic.

Photo Credit: Visiona Romantica

The intermission arrives with no visuals or music at all. By the time I get out to the washrooms the line is 50 deep in the corridor alone. This is what you get when you open a highly anticipated movie with an intermission in a theater dating back to a time when theaters were independently owned. I feed the parking meter as the movie is slightly more than 3 hours long and by the time I get back inside, not only has the washroom line grown, so has my need. But, in the name of not missing what I’ve heard is a twist that redefines the movie, I choose to grab my seat again.

Less than 5 minutes after the movie restarts, a very fast and very loud ticking sound fills the theater from the projection room. A moment later I could see faint motion blur in some areas of the projection. Then, all goes black...

Washroom! I stumble in the dark and dart down the corridor to the now empty washroom and return to my seat just a few short minutes later to find the movie has restarted. Not only has it restarted, but has since played beyond the plot twist. I can’t even begin to describe just how twisted it was. Every character was now in a drastically different situation than when I last saw them. I was so confused.

I was quickly filled-in as to what I missed, but that scene, and that moment of surprise was ruined, and is now gone forever.

9.5/10 . Only a parking ticket would have made it a more colorful event.

DISCUSSION (20)

DrJohannVegas > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 13:55

Was on the fence about going to see the 70 print. I think I’m sold now.

Goggles Pizzano > DrJohannVegas
12/29/2015 at 13:57

I’m going again.

Nibbles > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 14:03

Two theaters in town with 70mm viewings. I think I’ll go to one of these fine establishments.

Goggles Pizzano > Nibbles
12/29/2015 at 14:38

Gonzo review aside, it really is a very good movie. QT has said something to the effect of “It’s a paperback sequel to the novel that Django was”. It’s hard to judge it strongly when put in this context. It’s fun. Dark, but fun.

Lots of Easter eggs. All the acting was great and just seeing some of the actors for the first time brought a smile to my face.

Beyond wanting to see the general beauty of 70mm, I was curious to see how QT used the format to have more than one thing going on at any one time. In this regard I was a little disapointed. It happened, but not so often, and subtley.

A whodunit, but I didn’t see any Agatha Christie in there.

I’ll sit closer next time. Maybe 1/3 back...

Zoe Bell...

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 14:41

How does one know exactly it’s a proper 70mm show with all those extras? I can’t find anything definitive for my zip code.

Please HALP!!!

Goggles Pizzano > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
12/29/2015 at 14:46

This site will direct you to a local independent theater or theater of a chain that’s playing it.

http://tickets.thehatefuleight.com/showtimes

mcseanerson > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 15:15

I’m pretty sure that theater count was cut in half at the last minute and they’re not evenly distributed through out the country. It’s more like five plus theaters in the biggest metro districts and a big fuck off to the whole midwest. Closest theater to me is three hours away. Same as it was for The Force Awakens in 70mm same as it was for Interstellar in 70mm. Fat load of good their “wide release” does for the rest of us.

Goggles Pizzano > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
12/29/2015 at 15:17

There’s a drop down there for 70mm or regular.

Frank W. Doom > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 15:19

The theater closest to me has been having a bunch of problems with their 70mm showings. Apparently they burned a hole in one copy and have other assorted viewing issues. Gonna try to make it to the next theater. Glad I live in a big town where the first place wasn’t my only option.

Goggles Pizzano > Frank W. Doom
12/29/2015 at 15:29

Wow, would have really sucked if that happened here. Before the only theater here was announced I considered the option of driving to nearest town playing it. Then learned it was 350 mi.

Goggles Pizzano > mcseanerson
12/29/2015 at 15:43

Rumors of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story being released in Ultra Panavision may play well for releases thereafter.

mcseanerson > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 15:53

Yeah, there’s supposed to be more 70mm releases coming in the future but it’s really disappointing after Tarantino hyped this so much and said he was bringing 70mm to the masses but it turned out the masses just means five theaters to choose from in D.C. Who knows if I’ll ever be able to go to a 70mm theatrical release within two hours drive from my house.

Goggles Pizzano > mcseanerson
12/29/2015 at 15:59

Two hours? I may have driven two hours if need be. Did you see my reply to Frank W. Doom? :-)x

mcseanerson > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 16:02

I thought about it but I’m not driving further than two hours for Tarantino. I am still thinking about driving three hours for Star Wars in 70mm in Indianapolis, probably not though.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 16:37

Crap, nothing in my vicinity for the Roadshow. I’d have to drive 3 hours, so nope.

I’ll just watch the normal 70mm

Chasaboo > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 18:15

I am not a Tarantino fan, I could care less about the dude. But I did like the movie. It works.

slipperysallylikespenguins > Goggles Pizzano
12/29/2015 at 18:17

Went and watched this in Portland on Christmas morning for the first showing. Very cool movie, I don’t think it was his best, but still good. Our screening went without a hitch. Very glad I went early as there was a line around the block for the next showing.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Goggles Pizzano
12/31/2015 at 00:01

OK, so I just watched this movie and HOLY FUCK was it beautiful. I need to watch it again so I can see earlier in the movie the stuff that the plot twist in Chapter 4 reveals.

I envy you for having seen the Road Show. The first 2 chapters were really slow, much moreso than any past Tarantino film since he was devoting a ton of time to character development with merely dialogue, but once the action picked up, the character development was mixed in very well with the ongoing action.

I rate it 6.4/7.

Quentin is a supreme talent

Goggles Pizzano > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
12/31/2015 at 00:36

Totally agree on the 2nd (or even 3rd) viewing. Like you said, to see if there’s anything the characters reveal that I missed in regards to who they are. A sly look from one to another while slightly in the background? I hope so.

After your reply I was quick to dismiss the differences between the regular and roadshow versions, but given more thought...In the program was a large photo of the coffee pot. Also there, was Channing Tatum. Maybe the regular show with no spoilers is better in some regards.

When I wrote “truly epic” as a description for the opening scene, I didn’t mince words. Just wow, beautiful. The movie as a whole was a lot to take in, I’m sure after a second viewing I’ll appreciate even more beauty.

First viewing: 6.2/7

Second viewing: Tomorrow

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Goggles Pizzano
12/31/2015 at 00:46

Tatum was in the opening credits though, so that’s pretty much the same as the Program from the Roadshow in terms of spoiler.

Agreed on the pot. I had no idea about that